Crimea, What Do You Need That For Dude?

Pacifism is Nothing to Hide Behind

As pacifists one might ask, how can a Dudeist not let aggression stand? Most of the time a swift “fuck it” is enough, then a string or two of bowling and all is well again. But what about those times when a Dude has to stand up for what’s right and declare “this aggression will not stand”. Where is your pacifism now Dude, when the nihilists are coming, swinging their swords?

Crimea River Man,this is the situation the world finds its self in with the crisis in Crimea, Russia having set fire to the Dude’s car by invading, now demands they get the Crimea Lebowski! By comparing this situation to the classic scene from The Big Lebowski, the final confrontation between the Dude and the nihilists, we see that this is an almost identical situation.

Two of the actors in this real life drama are equatable to the nihilists, played in this instance by Russia and Putin, and Walter played by the international community in the west. These roles are clearly defined, one could suppose that the Donny in this case would be the innocent people of the region, those that would pay the highest price if things get bad and no one can diffuse this situation. But where are the Dude’s? Stuck between two assholes and a too soft place, that’s seems to be where he ends up in the movie, and we in this derned real life drama.

Give Them the Fucking Crimea Man!

Is it really worth losing Donny and possibly our Johnsons over something we really do not need? Maybe Russia feels like it is their Johnson, in the way of Crimea, that is being bitten off by the NATO marmot? There is a lot of arguments for Crimea having and digging the Russian style. The rest of Ukraine is turning to the west, probably will turn Crimea that direction too given time, so the west can mark it eight, and call it good with that.

Using the movie as a guide, it is deducible that the Dude would just hand over Crimea and say fuck it. There will be other opportunities, other league games to play in, no need to let the Walters have their way on this one, no matter how noisy they are. Just like the nihilists Russia gambled a lot on their scheme, and are unlikely going to go away empty handed. After all they lost a toe in the form of Ukraine, in their minds they’ve invested too much to let this go. Better to let’em have our pocket change than to risk losing anything more our selves.

Former ambassador to Russia Jack Matlock Jr. makes a strong case for letting Russia have Crimea in his recent article for Time. Arguing that not only would we avoid an intractable situation that could lead to war, but that Ukraine and Crimea would be better off in the long run. Crimea is not really part of Ukraine in may ways, and holding on to the province wont do them any favors. Crimea was Russian until half a century ago, it still identifies as Russian, let them be Russian.

There are still plenty of ways to let them know what kind of human paraquats they are for scheming and plotting, sanctions that are tough enough to say “this aggression will not stand!”, but not so tough as to force them to throw a marmot in our tub. When the Dude figured out how the big Lebowski had scammed him, he was not afraid to confront him with that fact, but he was not there to harm him, in fact he still had empathy for the big Lebowski. The Dude teaches us that one can stand against aggression and still aim to do no harm.

 Whelp, that’s one Dude’s opinion. What’s Your’s, comments always welcome

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